This is my hard time, and I (do) miss him

Claire : If I told you I love you first, will it make any differences?
Ray : If you told me or if I believe you?
Claire : I love you. I really do.
Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to know that you are
the only man who could ever possibly understand me?
Look, I know who you are, and I love you anyway.

Ray : I love you. I think about you all the time.
I think about you even when you're with me.
I look at you, I can't stop looking at you. I looked at you and I think
"that woman knows who I am, and she still with me".

Potongan dialog di akhir "Duplicity", film yang memasang Julia Roberts dan Clive Owen itu menurut saya bagus. Percakapan itu terjadi di bandara antara tokoh Claire dan Ray yang memiliki hubungan yang rumit.

Rumit. Serumit pikiran saya hari ini.

Seperti Claire, saya merasa teramat frustrated. Frustrasi. What I'm feeling now is so much frustrating.
Pagi tadi ada satu pesan masuk ke ponsel saya. Cukup mengagetkan, karena untuk beberapa hari kemarin saya memang menahan diri untuk tidak keep contact dengan dia. Beberapa hari kemarin ia pun tak mengirim kabar apapun. I do understand, sometimes we should have our own time and our own business.

U know, I just want him to know that I miss him. Without any other reasons. I only miss him. I don't want any other thing. I just want him to say that he feels it too, like he always did.
It was so much frustrating for me coz I felt being so ignored in my last days.... Mungkin berlebihan, tapi saya merasa masa-masa ini teramat berat bagi saya. Membayangkan saya akan semakin jauh dari dia, dan tidak bisa selalu ada ketika dia dikelilingi orang-orang lain, it hurts so much.

Tak ada syarat ketika saya bilang saya merindukan dia. Saya tak pernah bilang ini kepada dia. Saya tak pernah bilang ini tak adil, meski seringkali saya merasa semuanya memang seperti tak adil bagi saya.

I think I've lost him.