Happiness and Sadness, at The Same Time.

I met him. Today. Only for a few minutes.
I don't know what he felt, but I know that he knew what I felt.

Saya tak bisa berlama-lama, karena saya tak ingin ia melihat saya meneteskan air dari mata saya. I was happy, but I also felt upset, down, confused, and another unidentified feelings....

U know, after two years, today I kissed his hand. Finally. Well, not really kissed by my lips, but it came naturally and I want to did that when he gave his hand to me. Not like before, I always rejected him.

Saya merasa, apa yang saya rasakan sekarang ini benar-benar higher than my consciusness. Bukan under my consciusness, bukan di bawah kesadaran. Saya sadar, benar-benar sadar. Bahkan di atas kesadaran normal saya. Entah apa juga yang membuat saya merasakan bahwa dia sudah menjadi sedemikian pentingnya dalam hidup saya.

Gosh, I really don't know what to say. I deep down on my happiness and also sadness in the same time.
Saya sudah sangat senang melihatnya baik-baik saja dan kami pun kembali baik-baik saja.

Seandainya saya bisa, saya ingin kembali menghambur kepada dia, hugging him tight, and saying how much he meant for me....